TAX STRUCTURE IN INDIA ; )

1) Qus. : What are you doing?
Ans. : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

2) Qus. : What are you doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!

3) Qus. : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans. : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!

4) Qus. : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

5) Qus. : What are you investing your Profits?
Ans. : In Share Market
Tax : PAY SECURITIES TRANSACTION TAX!

6) Qus. : How do you distribute profit ?
Ans : By way of dividend
Tax : PAY DIVIDEND DISTRIBUTION TAX!

7) Qus. : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory.
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

8) Qus. : Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

9) Qus. : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

10) Qus. : Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
Ans : No
Tax : Then MINIMUM ALTERNATE TAX

11) Qus. : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

12) Qus.: Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

13) Qus.: Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!

14) Qus.: Have you taken or given any Service/s?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!

15) Qus.: How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!

16) Qus.: Do you have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!

17) Qus.: To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

18) Qus.: Have you purchased House?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !

19) Qus.: How you Travel?
Ans. : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!

20) Qus.: Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!

21) Qus.: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!

22) INDIAN :: Can I Die Now??
Ans :: Wait we are about to launch the FUNERAL TAX!!!

Articlepal Bill

Seven proposed demands in ArticlePal Bill.

1.minimum stipend Rs.5000/ pm

2.Overtime Wages (twice of normal wages)

3.Right to choose Audits.

4. 1 Year leave allowable for CA FINAL.

5. STIPEND of september month should be 35000

6.out Station audits should not be give to those who has started COACHING.

Nd the last nd most important

7. Give imprissonment of atleast of 1 Attempt i.e 6 months who ask us " Aur C.A. saab, hui ni teri C.A ab tak, or kitne saal lagenge C.A ban ne me, banega v ya nahi." so that they come to know that 'fail hone or again 6 month wahi sab padne ka kisi ka dil ni karta'

Life in our Language.

When you were born
It’s the opening of the financial year…

Your everyday
Is like Journal Entry…

When you meet someone
It’s a transaction…

When you make someone smile
Or someone makes you smile…
It’s a contra entry…

When you help someone and
Your help is acknowledged…
It’s like cash sales…

When you help someone
Without any acknowledgement
It’s a credit sale…

When someone helped you and
You are thankful to them…
It’s like cash purchase…

When someone helped you and
You are not thankful for it…
It’s credit purchase…

When you hurt someone
It’s like abnormal loss…
Making apologies for the same
It’s like Insurance claim recovered…

When someone hurts you
It’s like bad debts…
Forgiving their mistakes
It’s like bad debts recovery…

When you got married
It’s like amalgamation…

Becoming Parents
Is like conversion of Firm
into a Company !!!

When your children starts
Taking their own decisions…
You are subsidiary and they
are your holding company…

When your children left you
It’s like Demerger…

When you will die
It’s the end of Financial Year…

What after your death???
The Assessment year starts…

All your files are posted to…
God’s Chartered Accountant…
Chitragupt Maharaj….

He will vouch and prepare
Your Balance Sheet !!!

Ye Raah nhi Aasan..♥♥

PRABHU ( BHAGWAN SHANKAR ) CHALE C.A. KARNE

HAMARA EK DOST 7-8 BAR C.A. FINAL DENE PAR BHI JAB PASS NAHI HUA TO USANE BHAGWAN SHANKAR KI TAPASYA SHURU KAR DI

Hey ! Prabhu tum jag ke swami ho,
Is yug mein anteryaami ho,
Ek ungli par prithvi utha sakte ho,
Ek netra khulane par pralaya la sakte ho,
Par ek kam hai jo tum nahi kar sakte,
Kitna bhi chaho par C.A. pass nahi kar sakte.
PRABHU BOLE
Yah aasur kon hai, is atyachari ka kya naamhai,
Itna to batao ki C.A. kis chidiyan ka naam hai.
DOST BOLA
Kosata hoon usako jisane bazar banaya,
Len-den ke liye Rupiya chalaya,
Sahukaar jise munshi kahkar rakha karte hai,
Padhe-likhe Munshi ko hi log C.A. kaha karte hai.
1947 mein desh aazad hua to logon ne vo din khushi se manaya,
1948 mein Gandhiji chale gaye to hamne shok manaya,
par aane wale sal mein ek bada bhuchal aaya,
1949 mein jab C.A. Regulation Act aaya.
Bas tabhi se shuru hui yah kahani hai,
Har student ki aankhon mein pani hai,
Intelligence & patience isake upchar hai,
Kya aapka yah pariksha aajmane ka vichar hai.

PRABHU BOLE THIK HAI MEIN C.A. KARKE DEKHUNGA AUR ARTICLESHIP KARNE
KE LIYE PWC PAHUNCH GAYE.
PWC ka darwaza khatkhataya,
Ander se kisi ne aawaz dekar bulaya,
102,103 saath mein laye ho,
trishul aur damru liye kya nautanki karne aaye ho.
Dusare din Prabhu ki aankhon mein aansu aaye,
Jab apne bade-bade bal katwaye,
Tisari aankh ko chhupa liya tha,
Ab to pant aur shirt bhi sila liya tha.
Bina tie ke baat nahi jami thi,
Haath mein bag ki kami thi,
Pahle thode critical lagte the,
Ab PWC ke article lagte the.
Jis haath mein trishul rahta tha,
Us haath mein pen lal tha,
Audit par voucher aur file dekhkar,
shivji ka bura hal tha.

PRABHU BOLE
Vatsa ek baat batao yah Sunday kya hota hai,
Log us din bade majhe karte hai jab Sundayhota hai,
To matlab 6 din ke bad kal hum bhi majhe karenge,
Nahi Prabhu aaj baithkar aap kal ki CC ki taiyaari karenge.
Bhagwan ne class karne ki sochi aur Parveen Sir ki Class join kar li
Parveen Sir ki Class join kar li hai,
Kal Ganpule bhi karna hai,
Exam pas aa rahe hai,
Padhai bhi shuru karna hai.
Din bitate gaye sabse bada mahina aa gaya,
October mein kam karke Shivji ko pasina aagaya.

PRABHU KHUD SE BOLE
Hey Bhagwan itna kam Kailash par bhi kabhi nahi kiya,
Kya paap kiya tha meine jo mujhe yaha la diya,
DOST BOLA
Abhi to aapko Inter Pass karna hai,
Khud ko to FINAL mein khub yaad karna hai.
3 Mahine Shivaji ne khub padhai ki, Inter pass hone par hamare dost
ne unhe
badhai di
BHAGWAN BOLE
Yah to bada aasan kam tha,
Kya C.A. is chidhiya ka naam tha.
DOST BOLA
Inter to pinzare ka naam hai,
Jisme Panchhi phas jata hai,
Andhar padhe Apple ko dekhkar,
Sada ke liye Dhans jata hai.
SHIVJI NE I.T. KARNE KI SOCHI
Shivji ko I.T. karne ka shouk chada,
Apply karne chal padhe,
Chhan liye the har daftar,
Har bank dekh liye bade-bade.
Yahi to daulat ki maya hai,
Jisane CITI BANK ka deewana banaya hai,
Shivji ki kismet bhi chal padi,
10000 Rs. dekhkar bole apni to nikal padhi.
FINAL ka course dekhkar Prabhu Hairaan huye,
Kab padunga yah sochkar pareshan huye,
Dost bola yah to bas shuruwat hai,
Isi soch mein bitegi aapki har raat hai.
Pahle paper ki raat thi,
Badi pareshani ki baat thi
Chinta dikh rahi thi Prabhu ke chehare par,
Soch rahe the kuchh bat rah-rah kar.
APNE MURT (ORIGINAL) ROOP MEIN AAKAR PRABHU BOLE
Khush hoon mein tumhari mehnat dekhkar,
Achraj hai mujhe tumhara patience dekhkar,
Mehnat yunhi pani ho jaye to dukh hota hai,
Insaan ho tum tumhara bhi man rota hai
Par waqt par bharosa rakh tub hi pass hoga,
Kal har C.A. student ka aur mera saath hoga,
Is bar taiyaari aur jor se kar, mujhe phir bulana hai,
Apna khud ka office tujhe mujhase hi khulvana hai

Mummyji Papaji mubarak ho hum C.A ho gye :-)

Bachpan me hi mari gayi thi mat,
10th k baad hi bhar dia tha C.A ka form,
kehte the sabko hum C.A banenge,
dikhayenge tumko hum h bookworm...

Zindagi jine wale aadmi, hum bina jiye hi ho gye,
Mummyji Papaji mubarak ho hum C.A ho gye :-)

dhire dhire kati 11th, kisi tarah 12th me aye,
Debit credit kya hote h, koi to humko bhi ye bataye,
Final accounts h kis bala ka naam, koi to ho jo ise samjhaye,
Mummy kehti h padlo beta, koi unhe hamara dard to sunaye...

Pehle sapne me aate the ladkio k khawab,
ab aate h accounts k questions wo bhi without jawab,
In sabse darr kar jab nind me uthta hu,
kya yahi h zindagi is baat ko sochta hu...

Aa gya January exams h paas, jisme pass hone ki mujhe koi nhi h aas..

Aas kaise hogi kyuki 2 mahine to hume padai kiye ho gye,
Mummyji Papaji mubarak ho hum C.A ho gye :-)

March me diye exams, wo bhi without tayari,
Result ki chinta kise h, ab march k baad h june ki baari,
Socha tha 2 mahine hogi aish, gf k sath udaenge papa ka cash,
Par C.A banne ka junoon tha chaya, CPT exam ne kaha le main aaya,
CPT ek khatra sath me laya, khatra tha negative marking ka saaya,
Kabhi quantitative aptitude ne sataya, kabhi business law ne sataya,
Phir to june ka mahina aaya, Aur mere mann me bhi ek darr sa samaya...

Par kismat ne aisa khel khela, 20 bache the tution pe,par reh gya main akela...

Dil aisa tuta ke sharabi to hum bina piye hi ho gye,
Mummyji Papaji mubarak ho hum C.A ho gye :-)

Jo bhi hua wo tha ek accident, ek mahapurush ne aisa keh k khilayi hume chlormint,
Chlormint ne kia hme cool, aur wo bole sun bhyi fool,
wahi josh rakh aur wahi rakh junoon..wahi josh rakh aur wahi rakh junoon,
As you know ki june k bad december aur december ke bad june...

Phir maine kiya unse ek wayda,
Aur samajh gaya main ki C.A. first attempt me karne ka kuch khas nahi hai fayda,
Interesting hai subjects 2-3 bar chahiye inhe padna,
Par papa ne bhi keh diya, agli bar fail huye to dukan par hi padega baithna,
Irade unke bhi the pakke, to socha kyu na mar de 6 gendo par 6 chakke,
Chak k ki padai aur chak diye phatte, Papa bhi bole 'I am proud of you bete',
Unke ye lafz dil ko chu gaye, puri mehnat ki to IPCC ke group one me bhi pass ho gaye...

Dosto ne yad dilaya ke kitne din tujhe party diye ho gye,
Mummyji Papaji mubarak ho hum C.A ho gye :-)

Result aane se pehle I.T training puri karni thi jaroori,
Sath hi orientation programme pura karna bhi tha majburi,
Paaji ne kaha tere aur CA degree ke bich kaisi hai ye duri,
thodi mehnat ki to ye dono bhi ho gayi poori...

Phir jaise hi aaya IPCC Group-1 ka result,
SAbhi aalochana karne wale reh gaye dang,
Par unki chinta kise thi,
Chinta ka vishaya to tha 3 saal ki articleship ki jang...

Socha tha aage ki rah hai aasan,
Par C.A. dhundne ka kaam bhi tha mahaan,
MUmmy Papa khush the hamara ladka bhi office jayega,
par yahan unke ladke ki nikal rahi thi jaan...

10-15 Din mehnat ki mehnat to ek C.A. mil gaya,
Insan ho wo acha dil ne ki ye dua ,
FIr kisi ne bataya, C.A. bante-2 sari achai nikal jati hai ,
Aur C.A. ko apne article ki koi baat nahi bhati hai...

Phir shuru hua kadi mehnat ka daur, kaam karte pata hi nahi chalta,
kab hoti hai raat aur kab aa jati hai agli bhor,
Kismat bhi aisi kharab hai ki,
sab kam karne par bhi puchna padta hai 'sir kuch aur'...

Isi bich aaye IPCC group-2 ke exams,
uske subjects ki tayaari karna hai asaan sa kaam,
Aur yelo iska result bhi aa gaya ,
main pass hua aur mera bhi ho gaya naam...

Stipend hai matra rupaye hazaar,
Phir bhi unka phone aata hai baar-baar,
Request karta hu ek chutti ki,
To kehte hai'aaj kaam hai phir kabhi le liyo yaar'...

GF se ho gayi ladai,
Mujhe chutti jo nahi mil payi,
kehti hai raksha bandhan paas aa raha hai,
ab to aap bas ban jao mere bhai...

Ab aapko kya bataye,uske bhai to hum bina kuch kiye hi ho gaye,
Mummyji Papaji mubarak ho hum C.A ho gye :-)

Bunk to school se bhi kata tha,
par usse jyada bunk ab ofice se karta hu,
Pehle ghumne jaata tha dosto ke saath,
par ab padai,padai aur sirf padai karta hun...

Bachpan me kya hota tha,ki padte hue nind aa jati thi,
par ab to nind me bhi padna padta hai,
Papa kehte hai tu C.A banke to dikha,
par unhe kya pata C.A. banne ke liye kya-2 karna padta hai...

AB to bas training khatam hone ko ayi h,
2 sal bit gye 1 sal ki aur ladai h,
Training k akhri 6 months me hi dedo final k dedo exams,
ICAI ne bhi kya policy banayi h...

Reh gya h sirf final exams ka bojh,
dono group ki taiyari me 18 ghante padna padta h roj,
Dil ko samjhata hu padne de pagal,
kyuki C.A banne k baad h mauj hi mauj...

Taiyari karte ho rahi h halat kharab,
zindagi banti ja rahi h ek sawal jiska koi nahi h jawab,
Life ho gyi h out of control,
C.A hone k bawjood bhi nhi laga pa raha hu iska hisab...

Kal paper h aur mujhe kuch nhi h aata,
Dar h kisi tarah bhi nhi h jata,
Kya karu mujhe koi ye bhi nhi batata,
is bar to lagta hai C.A n hi ban pata...

Jaisa socha tha hua uske ekdum viprit,
Paper itne aasan aye k laga main gya jit,
A/Cs,Law,Audit aur FM aye ekdum easy,
DT,IDT,Cost aur MICS me bhi hua yehi sab repeat...

Exams to ache bina zyada mehnat diye hi ho gye,
Mummyji Papaji mubarak ho hum C.A ho gye :-)

Ye C.A h uncertainity ka khel,
1 group pass ho gya 60% se,aur ek me ho gya main Fail,
Mumy kehti h tu nalayak h,
Sir pe lagaya ka badam wala tel...

Ek to mumy k in shabdo ne mere dil ko chua,
upar se sabne bari-bari aakar pucha,kya hua-kya hua,
Ab to zindagi ban gyi h ek jua,
kuch hua to hua,nhi hua to nhi hua,
Is bar to C.A ban hi jau,
yaron sab milkar karo ye dua...

2 saal 9 mahine me hi karli office se tauba,
kyuki sir pe tha final exams ka force,
Akhri 3 mahine ki training ki chinta nhi h,
kyuki use pura karayega 3 months wala residential course...

Par usse pehle h exams ka darr,
jiski wajah se main har roz raha hu marr,
Ab aya hu rabba tere paas,
is attempt ka to tu hi kuch kar...

Exams khatam huye aur main pahuncha karne residential course,
Yahan par hai duniya bhar ki knowledge ka pura source...

Subah me yoga,din me lecture aur ek professional ki tarah bolna sikhte h,
yahan k teachers isiliye har kisi ko pasand ate h,
cricket,tennis aur national game hockey bhi khilate h,
aur khana bhi kya lajwaab banwate h...

C.A karne k chakkar me maine regular college nhi kia,
par in 3 mahino me maine us college ko jia,
Isi bich result aya aur sabhi ne muje cheer up kia,
Aur party le le k papa k bank balance one-third kia...

C.A bante hi asisa laga,k hum kul k dipak aur aasman me chamakte ek diye ho gye,
Mummyji Papaji chachaji masiji buaji dadaji, mubarak ho hum C.A ho gye :-)

Campus placement me maine job ko paya,
ek mahine me 50000 rupayo ko kamaya,
muje mila mann ka sukoon aur dunia ka sammaaan,
aur maine apni mari gyi mat wali bat ko galat thahraya...

Zindagi jin wale admi ab to hum puri tarah jike hi gye,
Mummyji Papaji mubarak ho hum C.A ho gye :-)
Via: http://myledgers.blogspot.com/

Hmmm...

Jab se RAMAYAN padhi hai, ek baat maine samajh li hai,
Raavan mare na Shri RAAM k bina, Lanka jale na HANUMAN k bina...
Jab se CA mein admission lia hai, ek aur baat maine samajh li hai,
CA mein na aaye koi Himmat k bina, Koi CA na bane kadi MEHNAT k bina!!

Zindagi na Milegi...

Jab jab Result ka baadal chaya
Jab ghum ka saya lehraya
Jab Result Site pe aya
Jab yeh tanha dil ghabraya
Humne dil ko yeh samjhaya
Dil aakhir tu kyun rota hai
C.A .mein yunhi hota hai
Yeh jo gehre Result hain
ICAI ne sabko hi baate hain
Thodi Failure hai sabka kissa
Thodi patience hai sabka hissa
Aankh teri bekaar hi nam hai
Har pal ek naya Attempt hai
Kyun tu aise pal khota hai
Dil tu kyu rota he?