Happy New Year

Hello readers,tommorow we welcome new day,new morning,new hopes new plans,new will our efforts,new success,new feelings and a whole new year ie. "2010".Time is 09:30 and i am scheduling the SMS greeting for all my contacts and we are planning to start our new year @ Vrindaavan n Mathura,lets see what happens we are trying to convence all our friends to come with us .Most probably we start our new year with lord Krishna.

"Marks se no marks tak"

"R u a high scoring student?
Bored of getting gud marks?
Join C.A., Marks se no marks !
Ab anchaahe marks se chhutkaara
farq dekhiye sirf ek attempt me..

Love story of C.A.

Mai C.A me tha wo B.E. me thi,
Mai C.A. me tha wo M.E. me thi,
Mai C.A. me tha wo Phd. me thi,
Aaj uski shaadi hai aur mera aaj bhi C.A. ka paper hai.

Branch Auditor

Ek ladkaa roj subah ped ki daali par chadke baith jaata tha,
Pucho kyu, Bechaara C.A. krke pagal ho gaya tha apne aap ko
"Branch Auditor" samajh ne laga tha.

Jin

Ek insaan ne chiraag ghisaa usme se jin nikla,
Jin: Kya hukum mere aakaa,
Aaka: Meri taraf se tum C.A. ka paper de do,
Jin: Aakaa hukum karo bakwaas nhi...

Proposal of a C.A. Student

How will a C.A. propose: In my opinion ,
and to the best of my knowledge,
your character reveals the true & fair personality
of a human being,I hereby certify you to be my beloved.

Tortured Student

Heated gold become Ornaments,
Beated copper become wires,
depleted stones become statues,
and tortured students become "Chartered Accountants".

Depressed C.A. Student

A depressed C.A. Student went to Railway track for suicide,
train coming closer and closer but he suddenly came
out of track and said,"yaar kal to audit pe jaana hai".

War

4 saal,
3 ladaai (xams),
18 dushman (papers),
1 tank (Uttam Agrawal),
36 goli (Articleship months),
aur
1 akelaa jaanbaaz.
Be proud to be a "Chartered Accountant"

Jee lalchaye rahaa na jaaye.

C.P.T (alpenliebe)-Jee lalchaaye rahaa na jaaye,
I.P.C.C. (mentos)- Dimaag ki batti jaalde,
Articleship (Kinetic)- Sabki hawaa nikaal de,
Final (chlor mint)- Dubaara mat puchnaa.

Accounting PJ

Wat will you call it if your cat brings Tea for u,
Think,




Think,




Any idea?




No?


common sense hai yaar
Liability
(Lai-billi-tea)

Capital gain prior to Incorporation

Two CA's are getting married,
During marriage ceremony,wife vomits,
husband ask the reason, wife says-"Capital gain prior to Incorporation"

Narkwaas

Ek din ek Dr. aur ek C.A. ki maut ho jaati hai,
dono ko yamraaj sajaa sunate hai,
Dr. ko 10 saal ka narkwaas aur C.A. ko 6.5 saal ka,
Dr. pucha use 3.5 saal kam kyu ?
Yamraj: usne 3.5 saal ki articleship ki hai.

AS-2

As per AS-2 on valuation of girls,
Girls are valued at face or figure whichever is better,
but as per latest guidelines issued by ICAI- money held by
her shall also be considered.

Pyaar-Mehnat ya Mazza

C.A. to Article- Pyaar mehnat hai ya mazaa?
Article- Mazaa,
C.A.- wo kaise?
Article-Kyunki ye agar mehnat hoti to aap ye bhi humse karwaate.

Abusive words used by C.A.

Saale Bounced cheque,
dharti pe liability,
pedaishi bad debt,
insolvent aadmi,
itna marungaa ki balance sheet tally nhi hogi.

Classification of Friends

I kept ur name in my Journal and
posted you in the ledger of heart
and classified you as an asset b'coz
market value of friends can never be
Depreciated.